


Heaven is place on Earth

by izzylol



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Cancer, M/M, Sad Michael, Slow Burn, also, angel!ashton, but that doesn't happen until later on, ghost!michael, like no major character death bc michael is already dead in the beginning technically, so angsty, that'll be fun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-12 18:39:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2120538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izzylol/pseuds/izzylol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Living was never Michael's strong point, but turns out neither is being dead. </p><p>or the one where ghost!michael tries to deal with being dead and the difficulties that come with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heaven is place on Earth

   Life is pretty shitty but it's shittier when you're dead. Death is always romanticized by artists of all mediums. Poe literally wrote his entire works on how rad death is, but he died alone on a park bench so what the fuck did he know? I can't really judge him since I died in my dorm bathroom tripping balls. Well died isn't the right term. I don't want say "took my life" because that assuming I even wanted my life in the first place.

   My “death day” as they call it here was pretty unspectacular. It was a rainy, April day and I could feel the humidity causing my shirt to stick to my body. Like I really couldn't have picked a better day to kill myself honestly. It was really poetic. Me sitting on my bathroom floor watching the rain drops hit my window pane as life slipped away from me. you can't make this shit up. At the time I didn't realize it, but I killed myself on 4/20. I should have blazed it up one more time, before I did the dance with death. Damn.

   There's a certain kind of stigma attached to yourself when you commit suicide. People think of depressed, emo teenagers. I fit that completely. I fucking hate stereotypes, yet here I am with my skunk hair and eyebrow piercing. My life wasn't even that bad; I went to the University of Sydney, my parents called me twice a week and I was doing alright in my classes. I guess I was bored with the idea of being alive.  It kinda seem like being dead was much more appealing that being alive. My family weren't really religious so I didn't really fear eternal damnation or whatever the hell those nut jobs called it. I'll tell you right now, there's no god, no hell like everything is just chill. Like in heaven everything just exists like nothing is keeping it together. Everyone knows where they have to be and everyone just follow the rules that don't really exist. Me? I kinda just hang you know like I don't really stay in one place for too long. Suicides have the pleasure of roaming the earth as they please for some reason, but last time I did that I learned that My Chemical Romance broke up and I almost tried to kill myself again.

   Death is actually crazy, because you don't stop existing. You just become a different version of yourself. Like I'm not talking about being a spirit/ghost/ghoul/whatever, I'm talking about what you leave behind down on earth. Your physical body won't exist anymore, but the memory of you will. I had a crazy psychology teacher in high school who always talked about how important your legacy is. I thought she was just high off her mind, but now that I'm dead, I see what she meant. 

   The crazy psychology teacher once read a quote at the time I thought was irrelevant, but now really resonates with me: "They say you die twice. Once when you stop breathing and the second, a bit later on, when somebody mentions your name for the last time."

   Funny how when you're dead all your memories of your life become clear. It's like when you're dead your brain is able to zero on exactly what you're trying to remember, like without all the bullshit of being alive, our brain become super efficient. But that's beside the point.  King, emperors, anyone in power all want to be remembered. One of my favorite stories I've read since I died (yes, heaven has a library) is the tale of Ozymandias. He was an Egyptian pharaoh, who was obsessed with the legacy of his empire. He had a huge statue made of him with a pedestal that read "My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!". However, the poem is in the perspective of a person traveling his empire hundreds of years after his death. Nothing left is left of his once strong and amazing empire. It's actually quite ironic, really. But it just proves that you can be the most important man when you're alive, but after your death all that's left is the memory of you. In the scope of time you're gonna spend more time being dead, then you do being alive so the memory of you is what really matters. 

   People like Shakespeare, or Kurt Cobain, won't ever have to die a second time. But someone like me, a guy from a tiny suburb in Sydney who had 1 real friend and basically nothing else, will definitely get to experience this second death and probably pretty soon. For every person that's alive right at this moment there's 14 dead people. That's a total of 98 billion dead people. If every person alive remembered just 14 names, no one would ever be forgotten. But the sad truth, is that eventually we'll be forgotten. After I died I became obsessed with making sure that no one forgot me. I died once, and I wasn't sure I could do it again.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how long this fic will, but I know I'll be writing it for a long time. There's so much to this fic, like I really love it. This is a very michael-centric story. If anything it's more about michael's personal demons and the friendship that is malum. Clemmings doesn't really come into play until much later. This is definitely a slow burning fic. Also check out my soundtrack for this fic http://8tracks.com/reallyjustizzy/heaven-is-a-place-on-earth so yeah thnks


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